Recently we have all heard about the gay marriage debates happening in state senates across the country. It is everywhere in the news, especially in 2013, when neighboring states are beginning to legalize the right to marry for same-sex couples.

If you do not consider this report relevant to you, then I will be more than satisfied knowing it was relevant to me. This is because at every school and institution, in every town, city, county, state, and country there exists infinite varieties of people. Now, 3.5 percent of those people are celebrating the fact that they may now marry.

A few weeks ago, close friends of mine announced their plans to get married on the beach near my home in Los Angeles. Yes, California; a place where same-sex marriage was illegal only a year ago.

For the first time since Obama took office, I felt a pinch of pride in my heart for America.

And then I looked at the news that evening, and saw the progress on an international scale.

Let’s take Iceland for example, with an open lesbian as their ex-prime minister. Being someone not only of different sexual orientation, but also gender, was not the reason why Johanna Sigurdardottir achieved her seat in office. It was because she possessed the capability to lead Iceland efficiently. Let’s pause to take into account, that Ms. Sigurdardottir is Iceland’s ex-prime minister.

I thought about that for some time, and then realized that the horrors of having a gay man or woman as, forgive me, president, is a topic that is years old in Iceland. Meanwhile, here at home not only is a gay president unthinkable, but so is gay marriage, children, and social security benefits for our country’s estimated nine million lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people, who volunteered to register themselves in the 2011 census.

So, now the question is: when will this portion of our country’s population be treated with equal rights? So far progress has been achieved in seventeen of the lower forty-eight states, bringing with it the marriage equality movement, and a one way ticket to fear, chaos, and adopted children raised by wholesome and supportive gay parents.

While on the subject of such horrors, may I introduce to you, Minnesota representative, Michele Bachmann!

(Studio Applause)

“It’s a very sad life. It’s part of Satan, I think, to say that this is gay.”

I apologize if the line “to say that this is gay,” was confusing to anyone. Even reading the entire quote doesn’t help the coherence. Good ol’ Michele needs to work on clarity. Thank you, Ms. Bachmann!

(Lights cut)

Now let’s remember who Satan is. A red man with horns who lives in the earth’s mantle, and had (many years ago) decided to take on the challenge of punishing everyone who committed a crime or had a bad day. This scary red man is Rep. Michele Bachmann’s number one concern, and yes, some people in this country actually thought she was capable of governing anything, nevertheless the two buffalo and the block of cheese that currently reside in Minnesota. Long story short if you’re either a buffalo, fermented cow milk, or Michele Bachmann, you should be very scared of your new Satanic gay neighbors with an adopted daughter.

In all seriousness, this remains a significant issue for our country. I shouldn’t have to tell you about the thousands of horrific suicides committed each year by gay teens who are not accepted by their peers or community. I do not have to give you statistics from recent studies in the American Journal of Public Health on the rates of depression in bullied-gay teens.

People want to say it’s irrelevant at this point. It seems our country, and the majority of the world, considers these problems to be personal. For example, if we notice depression in a bullied kid who happens to be gay, it is not our society that has a problem, but that of the kid and how he or she handles their emotions; therefore it is not anybody else’s problem. How about when a man wants to marry a man but half of our population does not accept it? It is not our society’s problem, but that of the men who are forcing their lifestyle onto others. This is part of our nation’s “blame the victim” mentality.

Look at it like racism. Last time I checked, nobody filled out a sheet in the womb where they checked off their preferred skin color. Yet, people of every color, shape, and size, have been hated on, even killed for something that came natural to them. So I guess, racists can take it up with G*d.

I don’t know about you, but I wish I didn’t have any nervous ticks, a crooked bottom tooth, and an easily provoked temper. We all have those things that we wish we could change. But in the end, I for one have come to realize, that when someone is celebrated for what makes them different, it’s a kind of appreciation and love that trumps all others. So if someone is lucky enough to find that love, they should be allowed to celebrate it like everyone else.

So let’s be open, heck, let’s be accepting! (Yes, even you Michele). I hope you agree with me, that we all deserve to have a story book wedding.

Posted by:Hayden Barron-Howard

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